Song lyrics: Howard Johnson’s by Max Creek
Well I was driving up route 84
To Boston, trying to make a score
I was looking for a pit stop to get my body fed
My stomach was rumbling and my eyes were dim
And I thought that I was just about done in
Until I saw the orange roof in the distance up ahead
Well I was just a poor old pennyless freak
Who was only going to stop and take a leak
And get some french fries there to eat along the way
Well if I wasn’t hungry, I sure was then
Smell of the food just did me in
And before I knew it I was sliding in a booth to stay
Well they got 28 flavors at Howard Johnson’s
A menu there that suits your every mood
Well they’re the host of the highway
The flavor of America
Come on in for a taste of America’s food
I had a hamburger, french fries and onion rings
A plate of fried clams and a few other things
Just listening to the muzak and feeling my very best
When it came to dessert, I sure didn’t stop
I had a plate of ice cream with a cookie on top
All brought to me by this girl in an orange dress
Well they got 28 flavors at Howard Johnson’s
A menu there that suits your every mood
Well they’re the host of the highway
The flavor of America
Come on in for a taste of America’s food
Well about that time, I had my fill
So I asked the waitress to bring me my bill
When I took one look, my heart stopped just like a rock
I looked down into my dishpan hands
Just thinking of all of them pots and pans
I’d be washing just to keep my ass out of hock
Well you’d never think with what little I’d had
That the bill I owed would be so god damn bad
But I tell you, that’s the Howard Johnson’s way
Well eating there is worse than buying a car
I have been working here for a year so far
I got three years left with interest still to pay
Well they got 28 flavors at Howard Johnson’s
The menu there deserves our highest praise
Well they’re short on piety
But big on variety
They’ll rip you off in 28 different ways
They’ll rip you off in 28 different ways